India vs Pakistan is sci-fi vs fantasy, but will it be a box office hit?


It’s getting to the point where for those of us who don’t have a dog in this fight, the most rational response is to use the side eye.

It should be noted that this is a story about India and Pakistan written by a Sri Lankan. Our team did not qualify for the Champions Trophy for reasons I don’t want to talk about right now. But you remember our place, right? A small island on the edge of the continent, a lot of protagonist energy in the sense that, despite the population share of any of the major South Asian countries (our entire country is slightly more populous than Karachi and much less populous than Kerala), we do global news quite often. Either we are fighting a war, or we are mired in an economic crisis, or we are taking to the streets to participate in one of our mass protests, or we are overthrowing one of our heads of state.

And it may surprise some to know that there are communities in Sri Lanka that will support India when India plays Sri Lanka and communities that will support Pakistan when Pakistan plays Sri Lanka. The reasons for supporting India are explained in this article. Support for Pakistan in Sri Lanka was once so voracious that a group of Pakistani fans – Sri Lankans – got into such a dirty fight with Sri Lankan fans in our biggest stadium in Colombo that the Sri Lankan-Pakistan ODI had to be stopped for 30 minutes while riot police arrived and emptied the entire area. (Think of the baton attack on your police officers, but on steroids.)

The TL;DR, if you don’t want to click on any of these links, is that the minority communities on the island understandably feel so oppressed by our majoritarian politics that they support other teams in the region, partly as an act of protest.

If you’re the kind of person who doesn’t like reading about politics on a cricket website, you’ll enjoy this, but relax. This concludes the political part of the article. Easier things are about to begin. But for now, the fact is that Sri Lankans are interested in the India-Pakistan games.

Or at least we used to be. Because lately they don’t hit like they used to.

There was a time, not long ago, when watching an India vs Pakistan match was like watching a science fiction vs fantasy battle. Pakistan is clearly an element of fantasy here. There is a section of Pakistan cricket that feels trapped in a magical past, especially 1992. The story of the ODI World Cup in Pakistan is one of the greatest cricket stories ever. Certainly not as good as the 1996 Sri Lanka World Cup story, but you guys had the “cornered tigers” talk, the “lose all the games until you have to win all the games” narrative, and frankly, big props are something serious dramatic fuss.

India is a sci-fi team. How is it, for example, that your guys’ hitters keep getting better and better and better? Is it better, in particular, to consign Sri Lanka to oblivion? There was a time when Sanath Jayasuriya – by the way, our current head coach – retired Indian bowlers. Now you search on Statsguru and find out who has the best ODI batting average against Sri Lanka and three of the top five players are Indian players.

Virat Kohli has ten ODI hundreds against Sri Lanka. Ten! (Can you ask him to stop?)

At times over the last ten years it has seemed as if Sri Lanka were Ewoks throwing stones and spears while Indian batters raced across our forested moon in their 74-Z speeders, blasting us with blasters from a thousand years in the future.

(In this version Star wars plot, the Ewoks cannot claim the Champions Trophy, and Darth Vader and the Emperor rule the galaxy forever.)

While India is all systems go, space-age engineering and rapid-fire IPL missiles, Pakistan feels like a secret magic for us. They are masters of the reverse swing, considered one of the darker arts of cricket – until (cough) traditional The powers that be in cricket figured out how to do it and at that point it became a common art. Dusra also has its origins in Saqlain Mushtaq and Pakistan.

And what better analogue of Wasim Akram’s two balls in the middle of England’s innings in the 1992 World Cup final than the wizard Gandalf standing on the Bridge of Khazad-Dûm shouting to the Balrog Morgoth, “Thou shalt not pass!” Like Gandalf, Wasim went on to greater things. Yet much of his legacy is also defined by those glorious moments when he was less powerful than the force he later became.

Sri Lanka too has borrowed from these traditions as South Asia at its best is a melting pot of great ideas. Muthiah Muralidaran, Sri Lanka’s greatest bowler, still seems like pure fantasy all these years later. Kumar Sangakkara, our greatest batter, was an incredible science fiction writer.

The problem for us neutrals (Sri Lankans are more chaotic neutrals than true neutrals, in case anyone was wondering) is that science fiction has dominated the scene lately. Going into this game, there is no doubt that India are poised, ready and strong. Pakistan is weaker and licking its wounds after the first tournament.

As with Lord of the Rings film franchises, you would like to see Pakistan again as it was a few decades ago, and not whatever mixed stories they are spinning now.

Meanwhile, India haven’t won as many finals as they would have liked, but by winning the T20 World Cup last year they dealt a decisive blow as Star wars done with nice Rogue One movie. If Wasim is Gandalf, then Rohit Sharma is Jyn Erso, instilling courage in a team whose performance has been excellent but too long. Rebellions are built on hope, and the hope for us neutrals is that Indian batters will play the kind of fun innings that Rohit has specialized in of late for years to come.

At this point, it is necessary for fantasy to make a comeback. Sci-fi stuff was very interesting, but what is life or cricket without variety? And Pakistan must ensure this. Their need to come to Dubai to play the match seems out of place, as if Gandalf and the other Istari were tasked with leading the attack on the Death Star. Neutral people would prefer this game to take place in Karachi, which is sort of a Minas Tirith (a deeply flawed but charming big city worthy of all the love it gets).

Andrew Fidel Fernando is a senior writer at ESPNcricinfo. @adelf

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